Living in Delusion on the Banks of Denile

Where are your boobs?

2011-05-21T15:36:00.003-04:00

As long as I can remember my Mom has always been a great dresser. Every outfit complete with matching jewelry, shoes and coordinating handbag. Even when she has worked in more casual office environments, she still looked impeccable. When she retired at age 78 she bid the dry cleaner a fond fair-well and embraced a more simpler style. But lately she seems to have taken comfort to a new level. With her style, placed at times in the back of the closet. Case in point. I take my Mom once a week or so to see my friend Susan Mitchell for acupuncture. As I get close to my parents apartment I phone to let my Mom know to meet me downstairs curbside. One morning as she approached the car I couldn't help noticing how off her outfit looked. A black and white horizontal thinly stripped tee shirt with beige capri slacks, thick white socks and bulky white sneakers. As she sat into the seat, I started to examine the unrecognizable fabric and scalloped edges of the neck line and sleeve. Not sure if it was inside out or the designer was too cheap to add more fabric. "What are you wearing"? I asked her. "I just bought it at K-Mart the other day. $5.99. Do you like it"? "Since when do you shop K-Mart and no, I hate it. And where are your boobs? Why are they sitting on your stomach? Aren't you wearing a bra"? "Of course I am" she shot back. As she started to explain why she was wearing a less then perfect fitting bra and her even less the perfect tee shirt, I was backing the car into a parking spot. "Your going to make me change aren't you"? "You bet I am". As we got off the elevator my Dad was standing on the landing where he had watched me park the car, his voice rising from the distance. "What's wrong now". "Look at the way she's dressed I said. She looks like an optical elution as she walks". "Oh please, you should have seen what she wore last night". As we walked inside my Mom, Dad and I were all talking at the same time explaining each ones position to no one in particular. Standing behind my Mom, I reached into the shirt and yanked up her bra straps hoisting her breasts up to a more expectable location. "This is were they are suppose to be not at your waist!" "I'm not going to put on a push up bra!!!" "No one said anything about a push up bra, just put one on that fits. And don't even get me started on your paints socks and sneakers". Within minutes my Mom came out of the bedroom looking wonderful. She handed me the receipt for the tee shirt and as proud as can be said "look, I paid only $4.99." "Your digging your self in deeper Mom, better quit while your a head". As we walked to the car she ever so cutely mentioned Macy's was having a sale. That afternoon we arrived back to my parents with about $150.00's worth of new clothes. She's a smart one my Mom. At least she paid for lunch!

Do you want cheese with that wine?

2010-07-25T20:00:00.004-04:00

I'm sorry, but what is it with stainless steal appliances? What makes them so great? Do they work better, harder then say, black? White? Or any other color for that matter? And it seems it's not just me that goodness. I've asked friends the same question. We are sick of whiney people crying about appliances not being stainless. Think I'm crazy? Watch any show on HGTV. Any show that deals with buying or redoing a house. Come on people. What are you sheep? And then there are the realtors on the shows that say "my buyers expect stainless steal". That's the best I think? Telling home owners they have to design their house for someone that will be buying it in the future. So I should live in a place I paid for, and spent money on, to look nice for someone else's taste? Excuse me? Lets talk about stainless steal appliances shall we? First off they can look cold. If the feeling of the kitchen isn't modern or contemporary, then they can stand out like a sore thumb which can make the kitchen seem like it's dated. Which makes you realize the rest of the kitchen needs to be redone. Finger prints. I can't tell you how hard it is to keep stainless clean. The look is getting old. Finally. Ten plus years already people. Remember olive or harvest gold? They were all the color rage once too. Most of John Q public has no imagination. I'm not saying never use appliances that aren't stainless. There are times I see kitchens that stainless is the only look that will work. Like in a restaurant for example. But can we start to please think outside the box once and a while? I have one thing to say to all of you "I want/it isn't stainless steal", FOCUS. (fu%k off cause your stupid) people. And don't even get me started on granite counter tops...... R-

Around and around and back again

2009-09-08T15:23:00.003-04:00

Headache. Plain and simple. That's what I have. Sometimes I can't think of a thing to blog about which is why you might not read anything from me for a while. Then there are things that happen, like today that just work me to my last nerve. Hence, the headache. Where to start? Of course my first idea was to talk about one of the few things I said I would never do. OK, big mistake..... Cause I should know better. I broke that rule. Did it anyway. Add this to my list of "I would never..." Took that back. Or should I tell you about how easy our lives are made everyday by automated computer menus. I can just see your eyes rolling now. T-Mobile has got to be my favorite of them all. I cringe and hold my breath each time I dial 611. But yesterday was my cookie moment. (That's when the universe hands you something good) The computer was down. So all that annoying voice said was, "just one moment while I connect you to a representative". What joy as I was quickly greeted by a real live warm person. And believe me they are great I have to say. Over all the 12 years I have been with T-Mobile never once have I not been happy with that part of the company service. Even their web site, seems to work well for me. Until I tried to change my phone. I was told to go on line since I get a better discount. Which is what they must tell everyone. Phone choices are few since I have WiFi service. That should make it easier to pick a phone. And I really like Samsung phones. They are like a work horse. In the last three days the site and computer voice have taken me more places then I could ever want to go. Betting they are cut from the same cloth . Phones one day offer me options I need then the next day they are gone. Taken away in the middle of the night. Changing prices, jumping off pages. Even the representatives were a bit confused. They understood my frustration since they to would say, "wait what happen to" or "why isn't this showing up"? In the end at least I did manage to get the phone. Not the one I finally decided on but the first choice I selected when this started. But how does all this annoying waste of time searching the web site and almost yelling at a computer make my life easier? That's what we were told years ago when people lost jobs to automation. Oh and the kicker, it's more cost effective so we are passing the saving on to you the consumer. Another can of worms. I will admit yes, sometimes I would prefer the computer voice whisking me through basic information instead of pushing countless buttons to only get disconnected at the end. Unfortunately being in a customer service business for 33 years plus has spoiled me to wanting something more. Now, your still wondering what the thing is I swore I would never do. Ready? Multi level marketing!!!!!!!!!! Talk about a customer care issues. This I think better saved until the next entry since an ugly side of multi level showed itself to me and that drama is still being played out. So I will wait until I can put the final nail in that coffin before I explain. Thank goodness I bought the economy size bottle of aspirin. One final note about the easy life we now have, I can't get the blog published. Computer issues with blogger. Wait, this is too sweet, as I started to try and save this now my comcast service is down as well. Go figure. All that automation must stick together. But isn't that T-Mobiles moto? R-

Is that sour kraut I smell?

2008-10-09T20:50:00.005-04:00

I'm dog sitting once again for my friend Jesse's cocker spaniels. They really do have such personalities. Maxie is the older of the two. More independent. While Junior is always looking for attention. It's funny to watch the inter action between them. One minute like brother and sister, the next like an old married couple madly in love. For some reason tonight it's Maxie's turn to be all over me. And Junior is giving her space to do it. I'm betting it has something to do with the pig ears I gave them as a treat. By far they are Maxie's favorite. In fact anything that is considered food is Maxie's favorite. Now the pig ears have a little side effect. It makes them fart. A lot. Tonight Maxie is happy to hang with me and Junior on the bed. Chewing away on her treat. She is content to lay at my side, farting. With her butt in my face. No matter how I move she is right back there. What I can't stop laughing at is when she passes wind it sometimes is a bit loud. And quite fragrant. This is so frustrating to her since she can't figure out where the noise is coming from. Junior on the other hand is smart enough to have figured it out and keeps jumping off the bed for some fresh air. I keep reaching for the air freshener. She looks at me like I'm the guilty one. I see why people love their pets so much. They really do give you unconditional love, even when they think you've passed wind and are trying to blame it on them. They'll turn around and lick your face as if to say, it's OK, I still love you! I love you too Maxie. R-

one month, 18 days

2008-08-17T08:37:00.003-04:00

That's what it's been so far. 48 days that I asked for a "drama free" summer. My Birthday wish that is. I know, you shouldn't tell the wish you make right? But see, I wanted to put it out there. It was more of a "don't even think about not granting my request." (Like that double negative)? Kind of a line in the sand if you will. OK, I know it was a bold and silly request. But lets face it, the last few years have been busy with crap. You know the drama that finds us in our day to day lives. Friends that bring you their "stuff." Problems that you have because some computer at a say, bank, might bother you with. Well that's over. Yo. Fifth Third bank. Yes, you. I got that taken care of. Got a nice new Audi (not financed through you). Everything I wasn't looking for but I love it. Still can't get use to the size though. And I do still miss my porsche from time to time. But let me tell you it felt so good to walk into the bank and tell them "I hope I never see you all again!" They laughed and knew how I meant it! Banker's Insurance. That mess with the fire I had. Over. They said "Uncle" And everyone told me the insurance company doesn't care or even know who I am. Proved that statement wrong. Remember, never mess with a hairdresser. Never. We hold power through our clients. These two things alone ended a week or two after my Birthday wish. Landed a gig at a local barber shop on Sundays. Fun for a while. But not much cash. Now I took a job at a salon in Coral Springs on Sundays. 40 minute drive but could turn out very good. My friend Mindy got me to go and check it out. She owns Life Publications. Through her magazines has started a campaign to get me business. This is my second Sunday. Hope it's better then last week!!! Sometimes it's good to be "drama free" Seems to be working out just fine for me. Not sure what the rest of the summer will bring but you can bet I will be able to handle it just fine. Now what your step, I wouldn't want you to fall over that line. R-

Two years.

2008-04-19T12:39:00.003-04:00

Two years today. Wow. The memory of the fire is still with me. I can remember that day so clearly. Getting up and going to work on the photo shoot from hell. I was fighting with the photographer most of the day. And over what, how we wanted to do the best job we could on a guy that was paying us to shoot his comp card? He had no business modeling. We knew that. But we always try our best to make them look good. At the end of the shoot I sat there thinking, "aspirins, lots of aspirins..." Then the phone call from Regina telling me my house was on fire. The knot in my stomach building as I rode home with the photographer. I still get that feeling in my stomach when I see a fire truck. Two years. I look around my new house and finely feel safe. Thankful I had a place to move into from my landlords. Wasn't much left to take, so I thought at the time. I love this little house. It's suits me. I even have started going through my closets thinking, boy, I have too many things. I've already given some clothes away. Which is funny in and of it's self since the fire left me with no clothes at all! You can always replace things. And our memories stay with us. The good, bad, and the in between ones. So today is an anniversary. One that has given me strength. And a new perspective on holding onto "stuff" that I really don't need. Maybe it's a good time for a little spring cleaning? R-

I'm not a tourist, I live here

2008-01-27T11:26:00.003-05:00

Driving back from breakfast this morning with friends, it hit me. I live a mile from the beach. Yet I only seem to go there when I'm working on a shoot. When asked why I never go, my response, "I only go to the beach if I get paid." Silly I know. Yet thinking about how I wound up meeting my friends this morning and where, could in fact lead to a paying job! Living in a tourist town, the locals shy away from the areas most populated by "snow birds" until the beginning of summer. Yet this morning I had breakfast at a beach side cafe. Early of course. After leaving the cafe, we walked towards our cars, stopping in the stores that lined the area. The beach shops that sold all those must have gifts to give to everyone that says, "I was thinking of you and brought you back this." What it really means is, you have no taste at all and think a tacky trinket will say you care. Of course there are the tee shirts we love to read, think for a sec that we may buy and then a friend slaps us up side the head asking what are you not thinking? This happened to my friend Joyce and I while shopping in Santa Fa. She asked me what I thought of of a fringe hand bag she was holding. I reminded her while it was fun, could she see herself walking the streets of Manhattan with it? The bag dropped so fast you thought it was a bomb! While chatting with one of the store owner about the clothing she carried, I told her I knew the designer and had worked for him shooting some of his collections. She then replied they knew each other and the other label that the store carried was her families. As we started to leave, I handed her my business card. She gladly took it and said she would give it to her husband as they are getting ready to shoot there new line. How funny to go to the beach to find a job. I decided to drive home along the beach instead of the main streets. Wanting to see what I am missing from my town that draws so many tourists each year. While it was a nice ride, I couldn't help but see it's lost some of it's charm. "Where the boys are" just doesn't seem to fit anymore. Condo after condo line A1A. Construction sites are everywhere. With fancy names of new places to live, most new projects lay empty. But the snow birds come, year after year. Maybe it's time I stopped taking it for granted. After all, I to had come to Ft Lauderdale to vacation back in the day. Now I'm proud to say "I'm not a tourist, I live here."

Thank you Page, thank you virginia.

2007-11-18T20:49:00.000-05:00

Funny how your confidence dwindles as you struggle trying to do something again and again in hopes of getting it right. It was that way years ago trying to apply mascara. I would get to that final step then hand the mascara wand to the client or model, telling her it was better and quicker if she applied it. It worked like a charm until one client took so long, and kept saying she never wore mascara that I thought, "she's worse then I am". I grabbed the wand and applied that mascara like no one had before! My next struggle with makeup came when I would have to apply false eye lashes. I can't tell you the number of times I would try and try, but they never stuck. OK, they stuck, but almost always lifted in one spot or another. And the frustration I would feel, was sometimes overwhelming. But I always got through it. A few weeks ago I did the hair and makeup for the Ball Room Dance Championships in Miami. This was my second year doing them. Now this time I had my friend Virginia Alexander to help me out. Aside from being great at everything she touches, she is the bomb, when it comes to makeup and lashes! She however was only working with me the second day. But I figured, I had new glue, new lashes, all the tricks I could collect from other makeup artists, and a few of my own. I was ready. Now these women had been doing these shows for quite some time so if I got into trouble, I knew I would ask them to help. Then there was Page. What a sweet quite soul. With one eye. A big blue fake eye. No real lid and no lash line to follow. As I worked to get the lids to look somewhat the same, I kept thinking, "where in the hell am I going to glue that strip of lashes to"? As she offered to hold down the lid, I glued and waved the lash (it works better if you let the glue dry a bit first) praying for some help. I stood my ground and held my breath, I glued that strip right onto her lid. As I stood back I saw it standing erect. Straight upwards toward her brow. I let out a deep sigh and started again. And again. Only to realize I had the lash on my finger and glue on her eye ball. Now what, do I wipe it, leave it? Hey, I knew it was going to dry clear but then what if she got her lid stuck? As I took a Q-tip I quickly swiped the glue and with one last attempt, got the lashes just right. That next day I thought, I have to learn this eye lash thing. I am going to get this if it kills me. And Virginia was my teacher. My savior, my hero. Ever see a doll with one eye that just doesn't shut? The eye that the lashes are pointing to the sky? That's what Page looked like when Virginia got done. Your thinking, but didn't it look that way when Rick did it? The difference was Virginia got the lash strip stuck in the woman's eye brow. Yep. Then I heard Virginia say "Rick, does this look right to you"? Picture it, one eye with lashes pointing to you, the other to the sky. I thought if I laugh now it's all over. And trust me, I was holding back big time. What happened next still amazes me. In one quick movement I removed the lash from the brow and repositioned it correctly. That was the moment I realized no more lifting lashes. No more telling them "I'm going to apply individual ones instead". I have finally gotten the hang of applying false lashes. That's because I learned the glue goes on the underside instead of the top of the lash strip! Thank you Page. Thank you virginia.

My Dad

2007-10-21T16:35:00.000-04:00

About a year ago when I was talking to a friend of mine about my Dad, he said, "what do you expect? He's an only child just like you". Can we say light bulb? Talk about O C S. (only child syndrome) it hit me. My Dad and I were just a like. Boy, 50 years to figure that out! But since my friend pointed it out, I have to say I catch my Dad every time. And I think it's funny. This past weekend he entered a chili contest. His first one. He grumbled weeks before saying he can't believe he agreed to it. Now, my Dad belongs to the American Legion. Which is where the contest was being held. He also owns the lunch concession there. So since it was for the "honor" of his post, he said yes. Now my Dad has been a chef for years. Meat and potato kinda stuff. So cooking comes easy to him. He told me once, "if your going to be a ditch digger, then be the best one you can". I have tried to follow that philosophy with everything I do. So I understand why he wanted his chili to be great. Now, I'm not a chili expert. In fact, not one of my favorite foods by far. But since he was asking everyone he could about an award wining recipe, I started to think. What would make his stand out and what you to keep coming back to taste it? Hot. That's all I know everyone says it should be. OK. Now I'm not one to do anything that is the norm. Why should my suggestion be any different? "Try pad thai sauce I said". "What's that"? he asked. As I explained to him about oh, 8 or 9 times the what and why, he still didn't get it. I went to the fridge and gave him the jar I had. "Hear, experiment" did he? He says so but I'm betting not. Now my Mom thought it a great idea. Different. She understood that all too well. See she is also a great cook. And she has no problem adding or changing ingredients. The morning of the contest my Dad came over with his award wining chili. He and my Mom had some things to do before he had to present it. And it still needed to be heated. "taste it, tell me what you think" were his last words as my parents walked out the door. As it warmed, I did just that. Not bad I thought. Really good. But not award wining special. That hot kick was there, but not from the pad thai sauce. Too bad my parents still had it. I would have been tempted to add some! (That would have been my O C S) My Dad was less then pleased when I told him I liked it but didn't think it was going to win any awards! O C S in full gear, he defended it to the max. For a guy who didn't want to enter and swore he was not going to do so again next year, he sure was passionate! OK, maybe I should have been kinder? But he asked. So what happen? Well, he didn't win. Came in 6th. Not too bad for his first attempt at making chili. Of course he was not happy. "I thought you didn't care" I said? "6th is really good for never having made chili and entering a contest before". Though he didn't say it, you could see the disappointment all over his face. I bet next year he will use the pad thai sauce, you watch!!! R-

Let's pass the buck

2007-08-11T14:00:00.000-04:00

Don't you just love how much energy it takes to blame someone else? Yet instead of saying yes, I made a mistake or even "I'm sorry, lets see how we can make this right"? The issue gets tossed right back to the other party. Which is great I guess since they aren't around to defend them selves. So the person that was put out, in this case my Mom, suffers. I took my Mom to a doctor's appointment yesterday. It was her cardiologist. She told me she didn't need a referral to see him. She checked with her regular doctor's office and they said no. After all she was going to him already so I didn't understand. She explained that every time she goes to different doctors, she needs to get a referral from her primary. I don't get this and never will. To me it's all crap. The time it takes, the miss information given, all is designed to drive you nuts. Yet when my Mom arrived, she was denied the visit cause... no referral. When my Mom finally calmed down, she rebooked and we left. Now my Mom's two doctors are within walking distance from each other. So off we went to get her referral. I couldn't wait to accompany her for this little task. See, my Mom yells first and asks questions later. And I was going to get a front row seat. Now just to add to this, my Dad had been to the same doctor only two days before with my Mom. The office was suppose to call in a prescription for him. They didn't. That's another story. When my Mom asked again about the referral, since she was going to see the cardiologist two days later again she was told don't need one. Let me just say, world war three. In spades. It was wonderful. And their answer to my Mom, the other doctors office, was responsible to call to let my Mom know she now needed the referral. Pass that buck. As we walked out of the office I couldn't believe it, my Mother received an applause from the waiting room! My Mother the star. I called the other office to let them know. Liked they cared. Now what makes this more interesting is my Mom does this kind of work for a living. So she knows very well what is required from the insurance companies. When she went for her heart surgery she had to redo the paper word as they listed the codes wrong. Can you imagine? You go Mom. Give um hell! R-

I know, what took so long?

2007-06-21T06:27:00.000-04:00

OK, so it's been months since I wrote. It isn't that I had nothing to say really, just too much shit at once! Could tell you my bells palsey cleared up in record time. No thanks to the na sayers of acupuncture. All I want to say on that one is thankx for your opinion but you know the rest! Food network called. Worked for them two days. Had the incredible luck to be the exclusive hairdresser to Nigella Lawson. One of my fav's. Insc. drama from the fire. Don't ask. Too ridiculous to even repeat. IRS told me I owed them more money. Like they were going to say I paid too much! Too bad they forgot to post my check after they deposited it. Fools. Of course some drama with friends is always good for blogging. Not to mention my computer issues and the big one, AO fu%king L. Can you believe it takes over an hour to go through the mail? And I have high speed cable and an empty lab top! They are so messed up that I found half of the emails the support team wrote back to me in my spam folder. Now that's funny don't you think? Oh it has been busy. Now yesterday I turned 51. It was rather a good day. made no plans, no big promises to myself. Took it as it came. Now today is a different story. After all, I'm writing again. Not too sure what I want to do after breakfast since I have the day off! Typical. Worked on the B day and takes the next day off! First things first, finish dumping AOL and figure out what my comcast account is! Won't take this long to write again. The Summer has started and the rest of my Birthday is is full swing. Didn't I tell you? I figure milk your B Day for all the cash and prizes! This way you can enjoy it for as long as you like! It's yours/mine after all! R-

Just put your lips together and blow

2007-02-12T00:13:00.001-05:00

Wonder why when your a kid, things that are meant to go in your mouth, down your throat and wind up in your stomach are much more funnier when you can make them come out your nose? Silly isn't it? And if you could raise one eyebrow, then have it dance by itself, man, how cool would that be? Oh sometimes we see adults doing these things on TV or college guys, after way to much beer and not enough maturity. Now at fifty I find myself having to explain why I'm doing them. Of course then I must listen to and answer questions, then get more questions when all I want to do is say, cause I can. But that isn't the case. Last week I discovered I now have a new way to entertain. Of course me being me, I add a bit more schtick here and my wit there. Like when I follow up with, "I love that I can wear my hair the other way now", Or "I'm just trying to confuse my eyeglasses. See how smooth and wrinkle free this side is? Just like botox"! I've been telling people if it were only closer to October, I feel like Lon Chainy or was it Boris Carloff? Of course then I need to explain who they were and well, by that point I.m tired but have totally steered them away from the real culprit, Bells palsy. My few friends that have seen me tell me it's getting better. OK. Since I can't shut one eye and the other is over tired, maybe it is? Asking for suggestions from my friends and clients who are authorities in this area have been a great help. Yes, I do feel an improvement. For one thing, I didn't panic. I have been following the advice given me and taken acupuncture treatments almost daily. Just hope that all this pulling on my right eye lid to shut it from time to time doesn't leave me asking "when can you fit me in for an eye lift"? Funny how we wish for things and are surprised when and if they do show up? You should hear me whistle now! R-

Buddy can you spare a dime, dollar, ten?

2007-01-01T20:55:00.001-05:00

Just returned from Marco Island where I went to a friend's wedding. South of Naples, on the west coast of Florida what was once a place for a quiet retreat for the retired set, now seems packed with what you may thing are their grand kids. Naples and Marco have some of the most expensive real-estate in the country. And if your in search of country clubs and golf courses, then it may take months to view all of them. It's been a while since I ventured over to the west coast. Since my parent's no longer live there I haven't taken the drive. When I tell people that the road from Ft Lauderdale to Naples was once called Alligator Alley, and it was just two lanes, they look at me and think, did someone run in front of the car with a lantern to light your way? Hard to believe when you take that drive now. I'm sure just as in every other small town trying to preserve the quaintness, yet cash in on the tourist dollar, they would rather you just send money instead of actually going there. But if you must go, then the Hilton Hotel, where I stayed on Marco Island has found a way to squeeze even more out of you. More and more hotels are charging for parking these days, yes. But I have to say I was taken back when I saw the extra $16 charge for it on my bill. Arriving, I was told it would be $8 a day. Checked in, came back out, drove to the bride, and then returned just before midnight the same day. So, I'm thinking, every time I leave it's $8's? While checking in I was asked if I wanted to pay another $9 a day to use the pool and all the facilities by a gentleman with an accent I never heard before. Hearing him say something about larger bath towels, I quickly cut him off fearing they to were extra. That evening as I explored the room I noticed two robes hanging and wondered if I would be charged for trying one on? Which was too small by the way. Then thinking if maid service was included or extra? I was happy yet disturbed to hear her banging on my door to service the room so early the next morning. One time OK, but two times in five minutes not OK. While I showered I thought I could hear her wearing down the carpet in the hallway. As I gathered my things I debated if I should take the remaining body wash I had been provided? Was I getting charged for that as well? But then figured they might just fill it and use it over again so I tossed it into my bag. With my head held high passing through the side door to my car I thought if you can't afford the price, don't go. And if you can't go, send money instead. R-

What do you give someone who has everything?

2006-12-21T06:04:00.000-05:00

It's been quite a while since I was asked if I would help make someone jealous, let a loan be a gift. I rather like the idea of being hired as a gift. It lets me know that while I may not turn heads the way I use to, I can help someone else turn a head or two. A few weeks ago I got a call from my friend Joyce asking me what my plans were for this past weekend? With Joyce you learn over the years not to ask too many questions because that just slows the flow of information streaming through her brain. If computers were the extension of the human mind, then Joyce is the starting point the computer's use for speed. After telling her I had nothing that I couldn't change, I asked "why, what's up"? She said "I'll call you back". Within what seemed seconds, she was back on the phone asking if I wanted to fly back to New York with her after we finished a re shoot on a past job. Being the Gemini that I am, I had to ask at least the basics. Seemed she and her husband Frank were going to a 50th wedding anniversary. Frank had the clever idea that I should be the gift. What does one give to a couple married 50 years? What else could you possibly need? In the case of my parents, my Mom wanted an electric tea pot. Simple. Easy. Of course not what she ended up with, but that's a different story. So I became the gift. I packed up my lotions, potions, travel size of course) lipstick, an eye lash curler and one or two other secrets, booked a flight then waited. "How did you get all this through the airport security" I was asked as I was unpacking my wears. "Easy. I went to a female scanner. If she couldn't tell the difference between a lip brush and a hair brush, then I would teach her. Thankfully I heard, have a nice flight as I grabbed my bag and shoes." As Joyce and I arrived at the hotel where I the couple were staying, it struck me that in all the years she and I have been together, through all the crazy antics, that only Lucy and Ethel could appreciate we were on time. Even the prior romp through Bloomingdale's followed by a $15.00 hot dog that yes, was delicious, we were still on time. You have to understand, in the five years I lived in New York I can't tell you once when I was on time. Joyce commented years later that after moving to Florida I became a stickler for punctuality. While the small talk was taking place, I went about rearranging the room to better work. It's a habit that some of my friends and I have about redoing hotel rooms to better suit our needs. Just ask my friends Tony and John about the Sheraton in Phenix. Of course the Walnut Street Inn in Philadelphia was more of an abortion which nothing short of demolition could help. And I have the pictures to prove it. As I started to work my magic both with my creams and lashes, I could feel the pride coming from this woman's husband as he watched from a far seeing the young girl he married some 50 years ago. I knew I was the perfect gift at that moment. You see I have a knack for bringing out the very best of you. So on this night, in front of friends, family and her life long partner, she was a glow. Just as she was the day they married all those years ago. R-

Got the time?

2006-11-06T19:32:00.000-05:00

Have you noticed that people can't tell time any more? Or at least give a good estimate of how long they will be or something will take? I finally was able to switch my old web site over to the new one. "It should take about 30 minutes for the change to happen" the girl said. Yea and about 30 seconds for the payment to hit my AMEX card. Thirty. Forty. One hour. Still waiting. Thank goodness I'm not dependent on the site for my livelihood or anything. But I'm use to waiting. See post about Jessie. Does accurate time calulating come under etiquette I wonder? To all who are curious as to what my new site looks like, check it out. Cause I know you'll click right to it after you read this. After all, it's now been two hours since she said, "thirty minutes". Oh wait, you don't think she meant thirty hours do you? R-

Donations come in all shapes and sizes

2006-10-15T19:49:00.007-04:00

From time to time we all do our part for charity. I have fund raised, chaired, bought tickets to, and collected donations for the best of them. And like most, I get a bit burnt out. So now I am smarter about giving my time to a worthy cause. A trip to visit a client at her office would turn into an unexpected donation for the University of Miami. The University has a program called The Miami Project to Cure Paralysis. Which my client is part of. It helps men with spinal cord injuries father children. They have had so many successful births over the years. My client Nancy is a research scientist and has been with the project for more years then I can remember. From time to time testing is done between men who have no problems getting it um... Well you get the idea, and men who even viagra can't help. When they moved into their new state of the art facility Nancy had invited me to see the new research center located at Jackson Memorial followed by lunch. As I took the tour, she introduced me to her colleagues showed me the new gym and then in a spur of the moment asked if I would like to be part of the study? It seems they were always short on men and had already exhausted their friends around campus. Without thinking much about it I agreed. I was then handed a cup and shown to an examining room. Your part in the study begins by you giving a sample. So there I sat with cup in hand thinking I didn't have to pee. I just went. So I sat. About 30 minutes later Nancy knocked on the door and asked if I needed more time? As I explained to her I didn't need to go, I heard her start to laugh and then say "not that kind of sample" It took a few seconds to register what she was asking me for. And then it hit me! "Excuse me? Um you want WHAT? In THIS cup"? She then came into the room and asked if I still wanted to participate? Then said I could watch some porn however their collection left much to be desired. "unfortunately for you it's all straight. Not a gay video to be had. It's next to impossible to get the University to pay for it even if it is for research" "Sure, why not. At this point in for a penny..." Watching it was like looking at an old Three Stooges episode. Lets just say that the porn they offered was anything but stimulating. To anyone! Straight or gay. So that night I called a client who runs a porn shop! The University now has a brand new DVD player along with an updated collection of DVD's and magazines. The manager of the shop received a wonderful thank you letter from Nancy on behalf of the department. Which my client proudly framed and hung above the register. All in a day's work I'd say.

Did you hear? They brought the Magic door back!

2006-09-05T00:37:00.000-04:00

I think it's wonderful when someone offers a suggestion or another point of view to a problem. Lets face it, we all are willing to add our two cents,wanted or not. What I find flustering is when the offering isn't seen by you as"oh my gosh, why didn't I think of that?" Or what seems so simple to the person suggesting the solution, they become defensive when you try to explain that A, you've tried that. Or B, it's not practical and why. Lately things have been a bit slow for work. For many reasons. If I say anything I get "why don't you go to work in a really nice salon?" Then what? Unless I'm mistaken, that magic door hasn't been around in years. Let me explain. That's the door that the salon owner of this new fancy salon I've just gotten a job in, opens. Behind it are lots and lots of new clients who were just waiting for me to start working there. Now they can sit in my chair one by one. An endless supply. And at the end of the week, there's a pot of gold for me to take home. Now I can get back on track and pay those bills and have some spending money too. Now why didn't I think of that? R-

These twins of mine.

2006-08-15T00:47:00.000-04:00

If you ever spent any time with me you would run like hell or become totally hooked. You see there are two of me. In fact there are at least two. I am betting another one and a half are lurking somewhere off the cost. Your thinking "what is he talking about, and a half"? See Gemini's are multi talented, with personalities to match each day of the week. I know a little about a lot. Able to leap tall buildings, and then tell the architect how he or she could have designed it better. And be totally right. I fight for principle. I also have cut my nose off to spit my face. Hey, it grows back. OK, maybe this time a bit larger but it's still mine. I remember having a conversation with my friend Bruno's lover Bob during a dinner party. At one point he said "I just love talking to the both of you". "Most people never get that about me." "Oh there are definitely two of you and you both never cease to amaze me! One will ask a question and the other will answer it". Now Bob had little patience for most of Bruno's friends. And Bruno knew if anyone could keep Bob entertained it was me. But I have to say while I didn't expect Bob to get it, I never let on that I was surprised and flattered. Now if I could figure out who to get each to listen to the other...R-

Guilt, I learned from the best

2006-07-06T21:15:00.000-04:00

I can still hear the disappointment in my Mom's voice as I told her I just got my new computer. Without a computer of my own, my parents knew I would be by to visit at least two, maybe three times a week. Even if it was only to check email and then run. Not that I won't go to see them, just it will be a bit less often. Besides, one doesn't grow up with an Italian Mother and Jewish Father without being infused with guilt. But worry not, I have O C S (only child syndrome) that and some well placed guilt of my own, and it balances out! Example: My parents were living in Naples while I was in New York. My Mom called to tell me if I didn't come home soon, she was going to cut all her hair off. "Go ahead I said, no one there knows I'm your son. Your the one who has to live with it." As she took that in she then said,"good point. Lets start again shall we? Hi. You know, there running some good specials to Florida. How about we send you a plane ticket? Oh, maybe you can bring your Scissors"? "I think that's great idea, but I'll take care of the ticket". "Your a good son". "What can I say, I got the best of both of you". R-

Food for thought

2006-06-26T12:43:00.000-04:00

We are such creature's of habit. I think I'm getting good at using the computer when I can complete my tasks without trying to figure out what something means. Spent hours on something that should have taken minutes, or left the computer in one piece when I am finished. One thing I know is that there are a few people (like me) who have not a clue about wording and doing things on the computer. For example. Port. As far as I know you drink it, you park your boat, yacht, or ship in it. I wanted to see how many people were reading my blog. (self importance thing) So I do what I always do. Look at each setting and hope I will find the button that says Rick, click here. Like when you go into the refrigerator for the tenth time hoping to have missed something. Or like now in typing this. I seem to have the friggin ghost that messes with the spacing key. You know, when you backspace and then the letters type over the next word. But I'm clever. I will out smart it. The trouble is you try so many things you forget how you got there in the first place. So for now I'm tucking my tail between my legs. Refusing to give up. I'm taking a lunch break. Yea, that's it. Lunch. Knowing that there are lots of you viewing my blog! R-

I'll get back to you, or maybe not?

2006-06-18T20:29:00.000-04:00

So what is it about getting back to someone when they call? Do you think that I'll just get tired and go away? I find that a lot lately. Maybe because I'm in a service business and trying to give good customer service that I expect it too? I hear this all the time about how no one returns phone calls, or better yet, not show up. That I think is my favorite. I have a friend Jesse. He is great for telling me I'm on my way. After about two hours I call him. It could take three days before I can even reach him. His answer? Oh, something came up. Meanwhile he lives two blocks away. And they all sound so sincere don't they? Is there a school that these people go to? It has to be some exclusive thing. But they sure do turn out some top graduates don't they? Double talk and the run around must be popular classes to take? When you find out let me know, or not. R-

A new beginning, now what to do with it?

2006-05-29T20:19:00.000-04:00

It's been interesting these last few weeks. In some ways I feel like I did when I first moved to New York in 82. Ok, so I'm not young and cute anymore. Though I was never cute. Hot could be a word I'd use! And of course I'm not anywhere close to 27. But starting over. Again. At least with buying clothes. Yet if you look in the closet I do have things to wear. One client gave me six pair of shoes! There all shades of brown and the same style but hey. Thankfully it's hot here. Come this winter I may have to get creative but that months away. The generosity of my clients has been overwhelming. If you saw the new place you'd think I was living there for years. I almost have more things now then BF! What a way to start my 50th year. Which is coming in about three weeks. Along with a red hat I was told?? At least when I first moved to New York I was wet behind one ear. Now I'm moisturizing and drier then ever! I'm also more jaded then I was. Too bad about that. But I also have much more wisdom. That comes with age. Which I'm grateful for. The rest I'm taking one day at a time. Youth part two here I come. You'd better be ready. R-

Endings 4 new beginnings

2006-05-14T20:29:00.000-04:00

Funny how the unexpected can take and shake up your world. April 19th I had a fire. It was from the hot water heater. Which was contained in a closet and the fire was put out by the water! However the closet it was in was my clothes closet. Ironic since I am in the fashion business. The smoke damage was through out the house. When the cleaning girl arrived, she found the tail end of the fire. Thankfully no one was hurt. I am now in a house downtown Ft Lauderdale. I think I have more things now through the generosity of friends and clients! As my friend Virginia Alexander would say: "endings for new beginnings". I will be 50 this coming June. I kept saying I was going to start a new life. I guess the universe wanted to help? I have now gone back to a salon where I worked for ten years. They are in a new location with new owners and some new faces. I am shooting with some great new photographers and have seen more then a few new clients. As far as clothing I am left with two pair of shoes, one in black the other in brown, a handful of tee shirts and jeans, some pull over's better suited for a cooler climate, a belt or two and some socks and underwear, and a tuxedo jacket which was at my parents. I am the luckiest person in the world. 50 will be great beyond belief. Of course it would help if I could get my porsche fixed. But I'll save that for another posting! Besides, the rental car came in handy for moving!!! R-

Duelling Diva's

2006-04-15T00:13:00.000-04:00

It's the simple things in life that sometimes are the most rewarding. And the most flustrating. I can't tell you how many times I have tried to change images I get from working on projects. JEPG's and pixel sizes should be simple right? Most of the modeling sites all ask you to submit your images as a JEPG. And the size ranges from 100 pixels up to and depending on your membership, 500 pixels. Today I got to see the pictures from a shoot I did for two of my clients. Both are international opera stars. Wendy Reynolds and Birgit Fioravante. They asked me to help them with publicity shots for their new tour, Duelling Diva's. What a blast. Words can not even describe the craziness and the fun. The final image I chose for their poster screams the title of the tour! I wanted to use this image on some of the modeling sites since it's so different from what you'd expect to see. Imagine how happy I was to stumble across a program to resize and change the format of the image. Yea, right. The best I could get the size to was 18.9 pixels. That was easy. Trying to increase the pixels drove me up the wall. At one point I realized I had gotten the pixels to 140. But then I couldn't change the image from mix to JEPG. For now the image stands at 18.9 pixels. And so I'll wait as I always do. Wait until some kind soul I've asked will resize the image for me! Hope you all enjoy the shot as much as we do! R-

Just another day.

2006-03-28T17:35:00.003-05:00

This past Saturday my friend Virginia Alexander and I had gotten a chance to work together. We have not done so for quite some time which is a shame since it actually is more like play for us when we are together. I received a call a few weeks ago from a bride asking me about makeup for her wedding. When I asked her who was doing the hair, she said the salon at the Biltmore. That's where she and the wedding party were staying. After meeting with the hotel a couple of times the bride called me and asked if I was able to now do the hair and makeup for her and her party? Not a problem I said but I'll need to have someone come with me. The bridle party consisted of seven. Including the bride's Mother. The Biltmore is a wonderful old five star hotel in Coral Gables Florida. I have been there many times for work and play. Now they say you should make the most of your wedding day. Memories to last a life time. And that is just what this bride will have. Most know that the day of a wedding is almost always a bit crazy. Imagine adding to that craziness by having the fire alarm go off. There we were, nine of us in the suite now having to grab what we could and file out of the hotel. No one panicked. No one had thoughts of oh my gosh, the wedding. In fact we all acted like it was just part of the day! As I looked back into the bedroom, I noticed the woman who had been steaming the dresses. She was quietly coming towards me pushing the steamer. Then it hit me. I went into the bedroom to see that she had been steaming the clothes under the smoke detector! We had set off the alarm. I yelled out it's us. It's us. I grabbed a chair and climbed up to knock the smoke alarm from the wall. Laughing we started back into the room. Now the room over looks the front of the hotel. Yep, you guessed it. Hanging over the balcony yelling down to let everyone know what had happened. Which was a bit hard since the room is on the 14th floor. At the same time rushing the room was management. Virginia and I just sat back trying to figure out how we were going to get this day back on track? As we said our good-byes to everyone as they finally left for pictures, Virginia and I sat on the balcony as she lit a cigarette. You know she said, No one is going to believe us! "Yes they will. Lets face it, this is a typical day for us". We gathered our gear and as we walked past the concierge I asked, could someone straighten up the bridal suite? He smiled and said, "no problem. We got it covered" The look on his face said just another day at the Biltmore.

They say what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

2006-03-13T01:34:00.000-05:00

Wasn't it amazing how automation was going to make our lives easier? Sadly I remember when the banks told us how much money we were going to save by using ATM machines. Or phoning into a computer instead of a person to pay our bills, move our funds. If we don't have to send you your canceled checks, why, it's cheaper! And now pay pal is the hot new thing. What does that cost? And why do I have to pay to have a pal? What might be even sadder is that when you get a customer service rep you find out that they just started. They are telling you what you want to hear instead of the truth, of course they don't know the correct answer because they just started, but everyone before them was incorrect and they have the right answer. Which you don't want to hear. But only after they put you on hold hoping you'll give up and go away while thinking silly Americans. My favorite just might be, FAQ's. Trust me when I say my question is never answered on the FAQ page. I'm the one with the profound thoughtful questions. You know like when Pam only dreamed that Bobby died on Dallas. How come then on Knots Landing they all mourned he loss? Now to be fair these things have also worked in reverse. Which makes our lives easier. Funny how We tend to take them for granted. As a very wise client of mine once said, "your allowed an off day. Just not the day I come in". So in a few hours I get to call Fifth Third Auto, again. I get to hear how they were justified in taking two payments instead of one. Now out of the blue I owe late fees. The same amount as my payment. Which I make to a person at an extra $12.75 a month so I will not have these problems. I guess automation is cheaper then a person after all. I'll check the FAQ's to see where my extra money goes a month and get back to you.

No rabbit was harmed in writing this

2006-02-19T19:55:00.000-05:00

Some days it's like taking candy from a baby. Those are the days you have so much stuff you want to write about you can almost hear the topics saying pick me, pick me. Of course there's that other side when you wished you knew where that scrape paper was you jotted an idea on while driving in traffic. Then there are the posts I feel I should re visit with updates. Well, as luck would have it, this post is just that. An update. On luck. As I checked my emails I counted four from friends that wanted to bless me, protect me, wish me luck or just a cry out please is there anyone left out there that will say they still except mail from me without having to do something with it? Enough already. If I had all the luck that will be bestodedded on me, I'd be on a yacht someplace sailing around the Greek Islands! So here's the deal. Your lucky if you say you are. Pass it along as your final email on that subject. Now send the rest of the good lucks, blessings, and wishes to all the people that send you spam asking for money. Just think how blessed they'll feel knowing now they can stop mooching off others because you cared enough to bring a positive change into their lives? R-

You expect me to tell him that?

2006-02-12T17:11:00.000-05:00

Automation. We love it. But it comes with a price. In my case $503.47. That's the amount of money missing from my checking account. I decided reluctantly to have my car payment taken from my checking account for the last three months of 05. I was sick and tired of hearing about how I should set up an account with bill pay. What, you all on commission or something? After explaining over and over again why I did not want to, I said OK, let me see. So come Jan 06 knowing I had to make the car payment I called into the bank. Which costs me $12.75 extra I might add to assure my payment is posted on time. (That's another story) imagine my surprise to find the bank took two payments instead of one. "Oh, we are so sorry" I was told. "Don't know how that happened? Of course we will put the money back right a way". (Do you hear laughing)? That was Jan 25,06. Guess what? Still waiting. As I sat in a branch office of this bank three weeks later talking with the one person with a face to go along with his name, it was nice to see steam coming from his ears instead of mine. You see he has been working with me to get the money put back into my account. The look on his face was as they say priceless when he said into the phone, "you expect me to tell the customer that, OK, fine". With that he hung up the phone, turned to me and repeated "your money is in a black hole". After a few seconds of silence the entire bank including myself busted out laughing. Nothing that I'm told from this bank surprises me. They don't care. They pretty much said so. Oh but they want to know when I will be sending in the Feb payment. Maybe because I'm in a customer service business that I expect it. Maybe because even when I took my first job at McDonald's at a $1.60 a hour I gave it my all. Or even when my Dad said to me "if you chose to be a ditch digger be the best one you can". Customer service. Repeat after me. Thinking the bank should go into the black hole after my $503.47!!! Thank you Fifth Third Bank. You never cease to amaze me. R-

The Box

2006-01-29T21:16:00.000-05:00

My parents called today to tell me they bought a new TV. But they don't know how to program it. Didn't the salesman show you how I asked? No, they said read the book, it's in the box. Excuse me? You just spend X dollars and you have to read the booklet? How could you not have ask? Well we didn't said my Mom. And Jerry, the guy who took you in his truck to get the set, when he carried it into the house, did you ask him? Oh he said the directions are in the box. We tried, but we can't get it to work. We'll just wait for you. As I let out a cy I started to wonder when we as a society made the box a scapegoat? When did the box start to take the heat or even hold any real answers at all? Foolish me. Why not collect A pay check for doing part of my job, and let the box answer the questions? Guessing it's the Same box that holds the answers to did you check the FAQ before you ask a real person? Yet to a child A box can be a toy. For my friend's dog, A safe place for her and her five new puppies. Take my client Jackie. A few years ago she had become a foster parent to a remarkable girl wise beyond her 6 years. When She asked Amelia what she wanted for dinner that first night she said mac and cheese. Jackie thought great! How easy is this. Now just so you know, my Mom makes the best macaroni and cheese. Jackie's is a real close second. If you had a choice of a last meal, this would be it. Grab your chest, tell your maker get ready here I come. Clogged arteries, cholesterol central. This by far is the big one. About two hours later Jackie removed her 3 cheese, butter, milk, spices, with bread crumb and more cheese topping from the oven. Sitting down Jackie waited as Amelia started to eat. Two bites later she put down her fork, turned up her nose and started shaking her head no. Jackie asked, don't you like it? It's not the box Jackie Bell. Kids like the box. Who knew the time and money one could save when feeding a 6 year old? I was delighted to get the call to come for dinner. I brought mac and cheese in a box for Amelia and a container for left over's. Now if I could only get Amelia to program my parents TV. I'd send her a case of mac and cheese! R-

Mirror mirror on the wall

2006-01-10T20:59:00.000-05:00

They say what you dislike in others is merely a reflection of what you dislike about yourself. If that is true then I'll need to move to a very quiet place and hope they have lot's of delivery services. I was asked to write a column for a new web site going up for the modeling industry. I was extremely flattered and also at a loss as to what to say. Now just so you all know, I am never at a loss for words! While writing for a large group of readers about hair is going to be a wonderful experience, what do you say to them on the first read? "Hi, my name is Rick and I'm going to write about hair?" So I did what I always do, procrastinate. OK, figured the words and style would come to me when I needed them. And they did. Pulling a rabbit out of a hat as I always seem to do, I wrote about something that I was doing that day and turned it into how it could help others. Now, the owner of the site said he loved my style of writing from what he had read on this blog and I should pen the column that same way. With that I let the readers know how I was lead to make assumptions along with putting my foot into my mouth. Figured humor was the way to go. Happy with the finished story I was a bit surprised to see the owner of the site rewrite the article. As I read the new story I thought fiction. Total fiction. I can now understand how writer's in Hollywood must feel. So I took a good look and wondered if I was this person he had written about? After sending him an email explaining my thoughts he reread my original article and explained he was quick to the draw. Kinda like I was with regard to what inspired my article in the first place. What I see in the web site owner is that he is very hard working. Very much a perfectionist and wants only the best of the best. Which brings a smile to my face when I think about it. Now I have never met him but I think we are going to get along just fine! R-

Is that a snow suit? She was wearing a bikini when we started

2006-01-08T18:43:00.000-05:00

I have to laugh. I go to the Walgreen's and use their picture making machine. I have it down to a fast few seconds. I have started using mini books for the agencies and photographer's. It costs more then a comp card which most use to show their work but it looks more impressive. And I can change the images whenever I want. I would go after midnight and before sun up. Had the store to myself. I could be in and out within seconds. They knew me by name! Then the store shut off the machines at 11 PM. Now I have to wait behind every amateur photographer with a CD and a finger. Today,after much procrastinating I waited just under 15 min ( timed it) so a guy could pick images of his kid in a snow suit. Loaded in my CD then waited, and waited then BAM. Frozen. Twice. OK, at least I saved the second CD from the same shoot until the end. Thankfully I managed to choose and edit images. Until the computer spit out the CD and shut down! At least I got the CD back. A thank you for coming and spending $56.00 would have been nice. That shoot left me cold anyway. Not in the same way as that kid in the snow suit but non the less. Now I find out I can make prints 24/7 again or stay home and email my order! I'm just afraid I'd get the prints from that kid in the snow suit! Which when I think about it, would be funny. R-

Here's to ghosts, trains and 06

2006-01-04T22:32:00.000-05:00

They say there's a reason for everything. Like getting stuck at the train when your already late. Or sitting in a traffic jam for what seems like miles and endless minutes wasted only to find your now driving faster then the speed limit. Trying to go to familiar web pages that now you must sign into to gain access. Again. I try and look past these things. The ones that drive me crazy. Like finally getting the contractor to show up. In my case my web guy to finish work on my web site. We are so happy when things get back on track we forget if there is some lesson we needed to learn? I have found that some things are easiest explained by the ghost in my house. No, it isn't "the not me ghost". I have no kids. Just some energy that was here long before I moved in. Looking for some answers just like me! So to my readers and my ghost/s Happy 06 and expect the unexpected. Again. R-

Some toys are just not meant to play with at any age

2005-12-29T15:09:00.000-05:00

Finally. I have been linked. My web site http://www-ricks-hairandmakeup.info has been linked to my blog! Big deal you say? Well, yes it is! Thank you very much. Maybe for the new year one of the things I will learn is how to better understand a computer and it's workings? See, this linking took almost a year to do. Wait a minute, what am I thinking? Boy if you all could see the look on my face! Me and computer technology. Better keep my artistic talents to hair, makeup, and fashion. I just remembered what I did to a toy I had called Mr Machine. Ouch. Poor thing. Maybe it's the spirit of that toy that visits my computer every once and a while? Is that smoke coming from my lab top? R-

And a whatever to you too!

2005-12-18T17:27:00.000-05:00

OK, am I crazy or did I miss something? When did we start worrying about merry holidays or happy Christmas? If this is the new social issue plaguing us as a nation, we have bigger troubles then I thought. In case anyone cares, some of us have lost a good month of our lives. Some, have lost their lives completely and are desperate to rebuild a future. If deciding between a merry or a happy is the biggest problem you face, then you've missed the true meaning of Christmas altogether. Now that is ironic don't you think? R- http://www.ricks-hairandmakeup.info

Twinkle twinkle little wrinkle

2005-12-13T23:42:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I joined my friend Virginia Alexander, and her friend Sharon for a
luncheon hosted by Botox cosmetics. Now that in it's self is kind of funny. Sorry, my quirky side is showing. I have to say they had a very nice seminar for the beauty professions that attended. The Four Seasons Hotel in Miami was the location and lunch was great. The desert, even better! I sat and listened to a panel of doctors who are more then qualified with a testimonial from patients and thought, "I wonder if they have a room that they inject each other in?" Imaging a Botox party of sorts. Looking at these people I was sure they injected this stuff into their veins. Hailing this as an anti wrinkle drug discovered from a side affect to what it's real purpose was for. Correcting excessive blinking and individuals who were cross eyed. Their purpose was to inform us that there's a right and wrong way to use the product. To get us to spread the word. If we can't get rid of stress then we can get rid of the signs that it exists. Happy Happy Happy. Think they're a bit late cause if you looked around the room at the expressionless faces you knew. I'm not saying I didn't learn something, I did. Always go with an open mind and leave with a goody bag! One free treatment, a t-shirt which is going to the dog I sat for. His nick name is Botox and that's what the shirt says. In rhinestones. A great fitting ball cape and the most wonderful pen. Can't help thinking that their commerical is targeted for the shollow. I mean, I had a good hair day? I found a great pair of shoes on sale? Yet there I was. And I thought I was living in delusion. R- http://www.ricks-hairandmakeup.info

Back away from the computer and put down the drill.

2005-12-10T18:52:00.000-05:00

Don't you just love to spend hours on the computer, tweak your writings, answer the questions over and over until you've hammered the keys into the ground and poof. Gone. That's what happened to my first post! Times two. So I typed out this new one. I wish computer people remembered that some of us aren't good with power tools and computers! Good thing because I see a drill with this computer's name on it! R-

"You can have the car in any color you want, as long as it's black"

2005-12-05T09:55:00.000-05:00

Isn't that what Henry Ford said about his new car's? Don't you love when someone says to you, "oh you do what you think is best, or I don't know, your the expert." Only to argue at the end because they don't like it so your told you didn't listen. You did what you wanted, not what I wanted. Your made to feel selfish. In fact no matter how many times over the years I've encountered this situation and thought I saw it coming before I started, I was wrong. Wrong from the other person's perspective. Wrong cause I still get sucked in. I should protect myself by having it writing, get a tape recorder. Something! If you asked for my opinion and you don't like it fine. But if you pay for my opinion, tell me to do what I think is right only to give me shit for it afterwards because it isn't to "your" liking then yes it is my fault. Mine because this is never going to change. I can spot the problem within the first minute of conversation so I should walk away. You are thinking then why not give them what they wanted. Doesn't always work because sometimes it still isn't right. I say this because I do get paid for my opinion when it comes to making decisions on hair, makeup, and fashion choices. Now this is regarding modeling. When it comes to my private clientele that's different. There we both have a say. Now I hate to be the one to tell you this but, No, the customer is not always right. And I can say this because I get paid for my opinion! R-

Biggest sale ever

2005-11-25T12:17:00.000-05:00

Again. And again. It's Friday, the day after Thanks Giving and people everywhere are foaming at the mouth to spend money (they probably don't have) wait in long lines before the sun comes up, kicking, screaming, fighting for a parking place, all to get what, those gifts on sale? The ones that get returned on the day after Xmas? The one day only get up early pre-sale? What is that? You can't tell me it isn't all going to be on sale again. For an even better price. Because it will be. (the day after Xmas) And what about the poor sales people that have to put up with it all? I sat at the dinner table yesterday between dinner and desert and listened to the conversation about today's plans. Who had what, when to get there, oh can you get this for me while your there and I'll buy your... And my Mom bless her. She tried her best to enlist my help and go shopping with her. Tried all kinds of ways. Years Of shopping as a sport have taught me that the Friday after Thanks Giving and the day after Xmas are better spent having a root canal. Have fun Mom, call me when you and poor Dad get back. Oh and while your there can you pick me up... R-

IT'S TIME TO PLAY WHO HAS THE MOST DRAMA!!!!!!

2005-11-19T23:16:00.000-05:00

Ever see those people with broad shoulders? The ones some mistook for having bad fashion sense cause they are still wearing shoulder pads? They aren't pads. They are the dumping off point of others dramas. Yesterday between the house phone and my cell, I clocked hundreds of drama miles. Too bad you can't cash them in for some spa time. Every phone call or persons visit contained drama of some kind. And some came with attitude. Must have been the you have three minutes to talk. Hey, that was about all the time there was between the calls. I think it would be a great game show to lay out your personal drama in front of say a panel on non experts and see who they thought was the best of the best. Not to make light of some things but why yesterday, I have no idea? And to think that they all think I am the stable one. The voice of reason. What scars me is that with many of them, I am. R-

Can you believe it

2005-11-11T19:25:00.000-05:00

The other day I was driving on interstate 95 with one of those donuts for a back tire. I have been told not to go over 55mph. I was doing 60 and was in the slow lane. I had to go to work. I was yelled at, honked at and cursed at. Excuse me but in some places the speed limit was 55. I had a truck up my trunk trying to intimate me. The final straw as the cement truck that ran me off the road. Sorry wasn't going fast enough in my porsche. But honey, I got the tire replaced now. I would be scared. Very scared. Cause I really do own a porsche. R-

Take my money. Please.

2005-11-03T23:25:00.000-05:00

OK, I know I'm one to do things differently but I am one person who is resourceful if nothing else. I am still without power since Wilma blew through South Florida and parts North. No power means no business and money isn't rolling in. So I am rolling my change. And no one seems to want it. Well, too bad. That's what I have and that's what you'll get. Now some are happy to get the rolled dimes and nickels. They don't have to go to the bank. Speaking of... The bank doesn't want it unless I roll it and have an account. But the 800 # I called said yes for a fee they would roll it. I can take it to the grocery stores but they want 8 cents on the dollar. Hey I have lots of coins. So I sit and roll a little everyday. They should be glad I'm not bring them my pennies. And I have lots of those. R-

I wonder what it would take...

2005-11-01T01:41:00.000-05:00

Last night it took four people, and over a dozen phone calls to get someone to do something about three live wires sparking and flying free around in the air. The first 911 call was at 8:50 PM. The power company showed up at 2 AM to fix the wires. The beeping from the meter took 17 hours total to shut off. Glad it wasn't serious. R-

What am I doing wrong???

2005-10-29T22:47:00.000-04:00

Without power for the last few days, trying to get by with the aftermath of Wilma I pondered what I would write about when I could... My Dad is trying to reset all the clocks in the house. That should be enough said. My poor Mom. It's going to be a long night. And then we have to turn them back at 2 AM. Anyone got any aspirin? R-

This poor dog

2005-10-20T21:54:00.000-04:00

For those who know me, you better sit down. I am dog sitting. Yep. I am watching a clients dog. And he is watching me. Ever heard it's like watching paint dry? I can truly said I have done so. But that is another entry. Jag is his name. A 4 year old boxer. Nick name Botox. Smart, cute, loving, well trained. Kind of what you want in a mate. Bored. This poor guy is bored to tears. When I had my fish, that was easy. Every morning you just looked to see they were all upright. Time to clean the tank, I just bought a bigger pump. If they didn't get along they never showed it. Trying to hold on was tuff enough. I have to entertain him. I did find that when we play tog of war I have cleaner floors. I just drag him around the house from one end to the other. The benefits are pretty good. My arms are looking good. And he goes down for a nap right after. Think he does windows? R-

no friends no mirror

2005-10-18T22:13:00.000-04:00

With all the makeover shows, articles, and stylists around we should be seen as Earth, fashion planet. We can complete our transformation into fashion fabulasness in less then an hour on a budget of a dollar three eighty. In a nano second we can recreate a look so it's better then the very thing we want to copy. But no one seems to be watching. Because if they were we would know two things right of the bat. One, they have friends. Those are the people that will tell you if you look good or not. (check under glossary for fashion friend which is under construction at the moment) and two. These people own a full length mirror.

Hurry, send to three hundred in the next 3 seconds

2005-10-16T00:11:00.000-04:00

When I die I am going to find that I have about $50,000 in rebates that were for some reason never sent to me. You know all the mail in rebates you are going to get? Then when you call to ask where is the rebate, your told oh that offer is no longer valid. Thankx. It only took me two hours to get to you. After I bribed someone for the secret telephone number. There are of course the almost lottery winnings that for some reason or another I didn't play the ticket that day. Like the $350,000 fantasy five where I had all the numbers, just didn't play. And now I see I will be receiving all the good luck I can handle in the after life because of all the send this to three hundred of you friends in the next three seconds and you will have good luck. (if I don't get killed by my friends for sending it, that's good luck) And what if I don't have any friends? After all I keep losing them one by one when I have to forward the chain letter. But I guess that is why you send it back to the person who sent it. I wonder what happens when it is just the two of you left? Do we get our friends back when we collect the checks that were really lost in the mail? Can someone tell me if I also get back all the download time I have wasted trying to get information that just doesn't help! R-

Entitlement

2005-10-11T23:09:00.000-04:00

Entitlement. Seems like everyone these days is feeling it. Reminds me of when a client told me about her and her husband arguing with their son when he wanted to quit his job. He was feeling entitled to some time off. He had worked so hard for so long. After all he had paid his dues. Both parents stopped dead in their tracks. Then started to laugh. Laughed so hard they cried. Seems their son is 25. Guess that is one way to end an argument. Wonder if he can spell the word dues? Then he might be able to look it up.

Living in delusion on the banks of denial

2005-10-10T22:26:00.000-04:00

How did I go from waking up every morning with the first thoughts of where should I go tonight? To waking up with toughs of should I get out of bed now and come back in twenty to get my knees? When did I trade my conversations of clubbing, dining and fashion, for doctors, grey hair and arthritis? Oh and try saying anything to my Mom and you'll hear, "that's nice, just wait". Thankx Mom. Luv you too... R-

Living in delusion on the banks of denial

2005-10-09T22:52:00.000-04:00

This is the first of my entries. Not sure what I want to get out of this, or give really. Just creating a place to post silly shit. You know, the things that you scratch your head over. A place to say things that others are thinking, or not... Observations really. For instance, was I out of town when they changed the rule about slower traffic keep right? Now I find it to be slower traffic keep left. Far left. Right in front of Rick. And don't forget the self appointed road police. They are the drivers who don't let you go around them or the slow drivers. http://www.ricks-hair-andmakeup.info